After a workshop I gave last week, I was talking with Leslie and she said, I’m a little nervous about this getting older thing. I’m 59 and lots of folks around me are beginning to retire. I ask what they think about retirement and after they say “wow, it’s great”, they say, the truth…I get a little bored.
So many life coaches suggest making up a bucket list. We’ve all seen that movie way back when where Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman work their way through their bucket lists, checking off big and little “I want to do before I die” items.
But, I’m hoping when you saw the title of this post you thought, I wonder what she’s going to say.
Getting older and even nearing retirement isn’t so much about another to-do list, your bucket list, it’s about being curious. We know that children are known for their curiosity. If you’ve spent any time around a 5-year-old, you hear a lot of why questions. Why is the sky blue? Why don’t worms have toes? Why do I have to sleep on the bed and not under it.
Curiosity may have killed the cat, but I do know that it will save anyone over 50. You have a lot of years ahead as you look towards your retirement, do you really want to tell folks it’s boring.
So, I talked to Leslie about shaking up her world even now before she retires, a practice plan of curiosity!
Now I’m a big believer in mindset. Carol Dweck wrote the book on it. She talks about two different mindsets.
She defines the two as “A fixed mindset is one in which you view your talents and abilities as… well, fixed. In other words, you are who you are, your intelligence and talents are fixed, and your fate is to go through life avoiding challenge and failure.
A growth mindset, on the other hand, is one in which you see yourself as fluid, a work in progress. Your fate is one of growth and opportunity.” Both can really be necessary, and both are a challenge.
So, what does this have to do with an adult who has had a few candles on their cake. Everything.
How much of your life right now is fixed? Having a routine for getting out the door each morning might be comforting. You get up, do your morning bathroom things, you dress, you eat, you pet the cat, kiss your partner and the day begins.
But, routine is the enemy of curiosity.
We are all such creatures of habit that we move through our life doing the same old same old. Now we’ve heard that’s the definition of insanity and so it might be.
So how could you be flexible in your morning mindset tomorrow? Perhaps you wake up 20 minutes early, perhaps you meditate for the first time, perhaps you use your non-dominate hand and brush your teeth, perhaps you have dinner for breakfast and give your partner a hug, a kiss and a I love you forever statement.
Changing up your morning changes up your day.
Five ideas for your strengthening your curiosity today!
- Do you have an idea journal?
Leonardo DaVinci was a huge believer in this. Remember he’s the amazing artist who also invented flying machines 500 years ago. He carried a little idea journal with him. He said, “I roamed the countryside searching for answers to things I did not understand”. Carry a little notebook in your bag so that when something hits your fancy you jot it down to check it out later. Mine includes things like, try new restaurants in town, where is the closest resale shop, what’s geo-caching.
Later, when I have a few minutes waiting for an appointment I can google my latest “fancy” and see what I can learn. I have a place to look for curiosity items in my life.
The try new restaurants has turned into an alphabet game for me. I’ve now been to AC Hotel, Bear and Bottle, and Captain Bills…can’t wait to discover the next 23.
The where is the closest resale shop led me to google them and discovered there are 3 within 10 miles. Cool.
I’ve discovered geo-caching sounds fun. Like hide and seek for adults. If you don’t know about it, maybe put it in your idea journal.
You get the idea. Capture your curiosity when it happens and then it becomes fodder for learning later.
Also, capture your curiosities when you’ve found the answers. The more we become curious the more we find to be curious about.
Put a post-it note on your bathroom mirror saying, “How I be curious today?”
- Go to an institution for the curious — The library, the bookstore, the music store, the museum. Whole buildings have been built as playgrounds for the adult who’s curious.
I don’t think it’s possible to walk into a library, etc. without asking I wonder? Pretty funny in my conversation with Leslie, she said she had a librarian in her life and wasn’t that the best. Librarians love questions, they love the search for the answer, they love curiosity, so give them a try and see what a librarian can share about your “I wonder – I’m curious” questions.
Our children’s museum in town is amazing. Twice a year they have what they call “Adult Swim” …all the kids out of the pool (or the museum) and it’s only for adults. Don’t wait to be invited though, go to a children’s museum and just walk around, ring the bells on things, see how things work inside an engine. If you’re really embarrassed adopt a kid for the day and take them. The same goes for the zoo or the waterpark. We’re just kids in grown up skin. Be curious.
- Your phone smart or dumb. I love that I can carry around in my pocket an amazing device to keep me curious 24/7. My phone engages me with the world. I can get the latest radar for the storm that’s predicted (much better than a weatherperson I’d say). I have a Kindle app, so my books are always handy. I can listen to music. I can google anything at all. Anytime a question comes up, my friends laugh because they know my phone will be out and I’ll be googling.
My phone is smart, probably smarter than I, but even a non-so smart phone has potential for curing the routines of life. When was the last time you called you friend/son/daughter/or mother and asked them what they’re curious about? Phones are amazing for bringing you instantly into a different and more curious world.
- Your five senses. We humans were built with curiosity radar systems. We can stop at any moment and ask what I am seeing, hearing, touching, feeling or tasting right now. How will you use your senses today in looking around your world?
Try this today. What can you see if you walk 100 steps out your door? What can you hear if you scan your radio dial three times? What can you touch if you squat down right now? What are you feeling…inside and out? And lastly, how about tasting something decadent. I just tried Trader Joe’s Mango Sorbet in chocolate balls…wow!
What if you set your alarm clock today for every three hours and you used your curiosity radar system?
- Question everything. Become that 5-year-old child we were talking about before. Try the 5-why method. For every answer to a question, ask Why. Bet you’re thinking of some questions right now aren’t you. Why? Because just thinking of asking a question, produces a question Why? Because that’s how we get curious Why? Because that’s how we learn Why? Because our brain is engaged by asking a question and we might change the answers.
So, when I see Leslie tomorrow, I think I’ll have a better solution for her about not worrying about getting into a boring retirement someday down the road. I’ll challenge her to start today to be curious. I’ll challenge her to start today moving from a fixed mind set pattern into a flexible one. I’ll remind her to keep an idea journal, visit a curiosity building, use her phone, tap into her 5 senses and ask 5 why questions.
Curiosity did kill the cat, but satisfaction brought him back.
Let me know what you’re curious about.
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